How to Bow Out of the Race And Win Big (5 Essential Circuit-Breakers)

I was running a race of my own making. If I kept going, I just might win.

Tripping or falling was not an option.

I was a high-achiever. This was my identity through and through.

I was only good enough, worthy enough, lovable enough if I was striving.

I was a doer. As in, I get sh&t done.

I was so busy, I didn't know how to stop.

I didn't have time to read a whole book.

Or take a nap. ("A nap? Naps are for people who don't have things to do!")

I was a machine.

I had no idea what was coming.

It started with a throbbing pain behind my left shoulder blade. It was deep. Sometimes the tension got so bad, it was hard to take a deep breath.

What did I do? I doubled down.

I told myself that my life was easy. Especially compared to my doctor husband who was gone from home 60 hours a week.

So I did it all, never asking for help. Help was for the weak, for spoiled people. I was lucky. I was strong.

If I was going to stay at home with my kids, I was going to be all things, single-handedly: nurse, nanny, driver, cook, cleaner.

Oh, and I was going to be endlessly patient with my children and still be a freelance magazine feature writer.

This muscular pain was just an annoyance.

It was as though my body was conspiring to -- well, slow me down.

Then one New Year's Eve, I spiked a fever.

My joints began to ache.

I was exhausted.

My internist worked me up for inflammatory diseases like Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis.

She diagnosed me with Parvovirus, an adult version of Fifth Disease, which in children is a mild illness.

"The good news is," she said, "is it's not Lupus or Rheumatoid. The bad news is, this could last for months, or, in some cases, it never clears."

For me, the acute symptoms lasted for two months.

It would be a year before I regained my old energy.

I was finally forced to slow down. But I went down with a fight. I felt like a failure.

Did I get seriously sick because I didn't listen to the earlier signs my body was sending?

Of course, we don't know the answer for sure.

But the body speaks every day, all day. It has a wisdom. It is our best barometer of wellness.

We ignore it at our peril.

This is true for many high achievers.

We equate busyness with success.

Busyness is the #1 excuse to forgo self-care. I hear it every day from my clients.

But I'm living proof: Eventually, we'll hit a wall.

Illness, injury, chronic muscular pain or burnout -- or some combination of them -- will stop us in our tracks if we don't find learn how to modulate and protect our energy.

Here are 5 circuit breakers to restore and reset:

1. Notice signs of tension: shallow breathing, clenched jaw, tight belly, etc.

2. Breathe. Even three fully conscious breaths can do wonders to restore us to calm and tick down the nervous system.

3. Boundaries. Use the magic words, "Let me think about it."

4. Self-care. Schedule some sort of self-care every day.

5. Remember: Self-care isn't selfish. It's how we refill our cups.

Only now, am I learning to take care of myself with the tenderness I took care of my children.

Only now, do I go back to my younger self and treat her with compassion that might have helped me realize that I cannot do it all by myself.

Only now am I learning that asking for help is not a weakness, but a strength that will help me live a long and happy life.

Don't wait. Listen to your body. Treat yourself with compassion. Life is not a race.