Guilty Pleasures (What’s the cost?)

My latest guilty pleasure is watching the reality show, "Love is Blind."

Admitting this might throw into doubt my "seriousness" as a person.

That's part of what makes our pleasures "guilty": they're not part of our larger purpose in the world.

Watching and loving to watch Love is Blind does not directly support who I am trying to be in the world.

It's certainly not the image I want to project.

I've been called "deep" more than once in my life.

"Love is Blind" is not deep. Well, not at first.

The show appeals to the voyeur in me.

As I watch couples awkwardly, vulnerably, with the deepest human longing try to find their forever person -- sight unseen -- I feel like I'm doing something a little wrong.

They cry, they play with their hair, they hunch over. Sometimes they fall asleep.

Sometimes they sing. I find this part the most excruciating. Is love deaf, too?

I watch -- sometimes cringing, always with compassion, as the participants tell themselves stories about who the person is on the other side of the partition.

I'm invited -- no, I'm seduced -- into a space that I'm not supposed to be in.

I'm hooked.

The other night, after watching two episodes back-to-back, I slept at best fitfully.

This is the other thing about pleasures: When they cost us our self-care, it makes for guilt.

I'd like to believe that the show itself was not inherently bad for me.

But watching it right before trying to sleep was. It was disruptive to my circadian rhythm, which is already out of whack.

So my question is this:

What are your pleasures?

When does guilt come into the picture?

Can you enjoy something that is not part of your bigger picture of "purpose" WITHOUT feeling guilty about it?

What is your guilt telling you?

Is this pleasure coming at a cost?

What are the costs?

When is pleasure no longer in service of self-care?