Permission to Change Your Mind

To say he was persistent is an understatement.

More like relentless. Tireless.

“Why? Why can’t I?”

For a time, I thought my young son actually wanted a reason. He was a curious child.

But I soon realized this was a tactic.

Gradually, I'd feel more like a suspect under questioning than a parent.

I'd begin to doubt my position.

He’d wear me down.

Single parenting much of the time, sometimes I was just flat worn out.

Sometimes it just wasn't worth the battle.

But saying Yes isn’t always "giving in". Nor is saying No always about proper boundaries.

Either answer can come from a place of impulse — a way to stop the pressure — rather than a place of reflection.

Sometimes I simply said Yes or No too quickly. Once I’d created a little breathing room for myself, sometimes I realized I was wrong.

It’s much harder to maintain one’s stand if you don’t believe in your answer.

Sometimes, I didn't have enough information or my answer was about being the authority.

I'm not here to argue parenting styles. We all do the best we can often on the fly.

This is true for leadership, too.

This makes what I'm about to say, all the more important:

Give yourself permission to change your mind.

Changing your mind is not a weakness.

If it is based on careful consideration, a strong sense of values, courage and deep listening changing your mind can be a deep source of leadership (or parenting) strength.

Admitting we were wrong or that we've changed our minds is an act of tremendous courage.

When you change your mind -- not because you've given up, but because you're listening and learning -- everyone around you has permission to do the same.

An organization -- or a family -- led with this sort of permission will find the best practices much faster than one that is rigid in its rules and enforcement as a show of strength.

Flexibility is the key to lasting strength, endurance and creativity.

It is the sort of leadership that invites the whole team to participate.