What Did You Do This Summer?

He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity's sun rise.
--William Blake

The kids have gone back to school and the house is quiet again. Ah, I have my time back. But wait! my kids are grown, long out of the house and school. Summers have belonged to me for years now. But here on the threshold of Fall, no matter how old I get, I am still enveloped by a vague feeling of sadness, the sweetness of time passing. It's nostalgia, pure and simple: a yearning to hold onto what's passing and to ensure that we made the most of it. So I ask myself: "What did you do this summer?"

Full disclosure: this blog is also meant to serve as an excuse for why I haven't written a blog or sent out a newsletter in more than a month.

Let me count the ways:

1. I bought a small rental house for my cognitively disabled relative (whom I am responsible for).

2. Within two months after closing, after I'd furnished and got him settled, the house presented major plumbing and electrical issues.

3. I thought I was having a heart attack as I tried to get money to cover the first plumber's estimate ($8-10K)

4. I wasn't having a heart attack, but my heart literally hurt. This made me double down on meditation.

5. I finished writing my book, Prioritizing Your Self-Care. Ironically, writing this took me away from my own self-care.

6. I took care of my grandkids. Especially the baby, weekly, rain or shine. I call it Milo Mondays. Holding him heals me.

7. During the discovery of the source leaking water, the walls of my new house were torn open. The plumber called is a "disaster". (you know you're in trouble if the plumber uses that word).

8. The upstairs lights stopped working, which led to installing a whole new circuit board and raising the mast on the house so the electrical wire from the alley did not hang so dangerously low. ($11K)

9. Through it all, I coached. New clients and old. I welcomed the opportunity to focus solely on others, one hour at a time. My business grew.

10. My other business, Embody Minneapolis, also held strong.

11. My editors got the first draft of my book back to me, saying this: "Your writing is clear, engaging, fun, and heartfelt. I could relate to so much of what you said, and I often felt for you while also appreciating your honesty in documenting your journey. I think your advice, tips, and exercises will definitely help people. It’s a first-rate book."

12. The house will be put back together this week. The plumbing cost one tenth of what the first plumber told me. I did not make a mistake in purchasing it.

13. After dental work this week, I got a migraine with all the scary visual changes of flashing lights, auras and left sided loss of vision. Just as my vision returned, I was seized by a sneezing fit (I learned later this can be a rare part of migraine). On the fifth sneeze or so, my back out. I crawled to bed, feeling that I, like my little house, was falling apart.

14. Fortunately, I know my body and trust it. I was able to put myself back together fairly quickly -- humbled by how quickly life can change.

So this summer, I saw the guts of my house and felt the depths of my body's vulnerability. I learned a lot, including "always get at least two estimates or opinions" and "your body will heal itself." I reconnected to gratitude for every moment of health, well-being, love, shelter and everything that makes life rich. Fall is an opportunity to turn that love and learning back to myself. All the good and all the bad pass away. I am starting to understand how to "kiss joy as it flies."