When Saying No to Self-Care IS Self-Care

Self-care is not for the faint-of-heart.

I was speeding on the freeway. Late again. Muttering to myself about how slow people were driving.

Normally not a late person, I'd been late to this massage appointment consistently. It was at a bad time of day -- rush hour beginning (but when isn't it rush hour in the Twin Cities?)

I finally arrived to my appointment, out of breath.

I lay down on the table, feeling the full impact of my busyness; heart racing, breath shallow.

It took me the first half of the session to restore my vitals to normal.

Then I fell asleep.

It was an expensive nap.

But at least I was finally getting a break and slowing down my nervous system.

But at what cost?

The great irony: All this stress for a massage.

I'd thought about cancelling several times. But this was self-care!

I work with clients all the time about prioritizing their self-care. How could I not walk my talk?

The great irony hit me: I was becoming stressed out by trying to do self-care.

Can you become burned out on self-care?

The answer came as a resounding Yes.

At a certain point, it's less important what you're filling your schedule with.

But that you're filling it too full -- even with activities that are "good for you."

There was virtually no white space on my calendar -- or in my nervous system.

I'd scheduled these massage sessions out for a few months.

Come hell or high water, I was going to get there.

But I finally got real: Just because it's "good for you" doesn't mean you have to do it.

The hardest boundary to set is toward that which we want to do or that which is "good for us".

If you're like me, I get excited about anything that leads to a better me: more self-discovery, more self-help, self-improvement, things that will make me a better coach, a better human, live longer, feel better.

It seems there's just not enough time to do all the things I want to do, including the things that are good for me.

That's because, there isn't enough time.

At a certain point, we have to choose.

Self-care is not a race. It's not a competition.

It's about listening to what you need. This requires silence and stillness.

Self-care is about less, not more.

If you're racing around consuming self-care, it's defeating the purpose.

Self-care is showing yourself kindness. This is a radical act.