5 Keys to Acquiring the Superpower of Authenticity
There's a new kid in town.
It's a superpower called Being Yourself.
This super-hero of business and interpersonal relationships is all the rage.
But rather than going into a phone booth a putting on a cape, authenticity is about taking the mask off.
Imposter syndrome be gone.
If authenticity is simply about being yourself, why is it so hard?
Children are authentic. Up to a certain age, that is, before they learn how to hide parts of themselves and amplify others to get their needs met.
We are all those kids grown up.
Becoming authentic is a process of reconnecting to our specialness, to the way we were before we thought we should be different.
It was also a time when we knew what we liked and didn't like. And, as 2-year-olds, we stood up for those preferences.
In short, we had boundaries. We all knew at some point how to say No. And we said it. A lot.
The word No -- using it as a complete sentence -- is the foundation of authenticity.
What do boundaries have to do with authenticity?
Everything.
When you stand up for your limits, values and deal-breakers, you let people know you.
To know you is to trust you.
Even if it's the answer they don't want to hear, there is tremendous emotional safety in knowing what you think and believe.
Being liked is very different than being trusted.
Sometimes the most toxic relationships rely on our LACK of boundaries. People benefit from our Yes, all the while not knowing what we really believe.
Conversely, when we stand up for our boundaries and say No, even when it's not what others want, we give others permission to do the same.
This creates personal and professional relationships that are based on trust.
Here are 5 things to keep in mind when you're building the authenticity superpower:
Authenticity does not mean tell all. You still need to calibrate your honesty based on culture and situation. A commercial pilot, for example, probably shouldn't share with the passengers that she is sometimes scared to fly.
Authenticity is strongest when it is flexible. Once you know your limits, preferences and values, successful leadership and relationships necessarily require compromise.
Being all things to all people is not authentic. Being a chameleon breeds mistrust.
Authenticity can be risky. Standing up for what you believe, even when it's unpopular, takes courage.
Authenticity brings connection, support and trust. When you show who you really are and what you believe, this allows people to know you.