5 Keys to Authenticity
Authenticity is a bit like pornography.
It’s everywhere, but we don’t quite know how to define it.
The Harvard Business Review found that 75% of employees want to experience more authenticity at work.
The literature is overflowing with support for "authentic leadership"and my clients mention it at least once a session.
Just as Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart described his test for obscenity in 1964, "I know it when I see it," so it goes for authenticity.
We know when we're in the presence of it, but we don’t know how to define it.
It’s when we trust people to say what they mean and mean what they say.
By contrast, we also know when someone is being fake.
We don't trust them or believe what they say. There's a sense of misalignment, either between words and action, or words and values.
While we can agree on its importance, authenticity isn't something you pick up at a training.
So what is it? How do you get it?
Here are 5 keys to authenticity:
Trustworthiness. "You can trust me," a client told me her boss recently said. But as soon as she recounted it to me, she realized the falseness of that statement. She compared him to the wolf in “Little Red Riding Hood”. "The real grandmother doesn't need to say, 'I'm the grandmother. You can trust me,'" she said.
Real trust is built through action and adhering to the next four keys.
Discernment. Privacy is not the same as inauthenticity. You do not need to tell all in order to be authentic. Discernment is essential. What needs to be said, given the company culture, mission and the specific situation? Is it necessary?
Transparency. Telling the team you're scared -- even if it's true -- might not be the best move in a given situation and culture.
Honesty. Honesty must still have timing; just because you feel or think something does't mean it needs to be said. You still need a filter that fits the situation.
Know yourself. If you act from a place of self knowledge you are far more likely to act authentically. But, next to self-knowledge is wisdom. Wisdom is what helps you express truth at the right time, in the right place for the intended impact.
Bottom line: Authenticity is rooted a self-knowledge and self-acceptance.
Learn how to be comfortable in your own skin. This is the invaluable pursuit of self-knowledge. Authenticity is how others experience that knowledge.