The Great Gaslight

It's not you.

It's not because you're weak.

It's not because you don't have the stamina or the resilience.

Doctors are among the most resilient souls on earth.

It's much bigger than you.

Your burnout is a symptom.

In a system that is based on coding, reimbursements, mind-numbing EMRs and the 10-minute follow-up, doctors become assembly line workers in the business of human lives.

Burnout is also a symptom of moral injury: When your highest calling is thwarted at every turn by a system that puts profits above people -- and sometimes above healing itself.

It's the spirit-crushing experience that doctors try to recover from each night when they go home, only to awaken -- still tired -- resolving to do it better this time.

Corporate medicine may be one of the greatest gaslighters of our time.

Even in naming the affliction from which so many doctors and nurses suffer -- burnout -- there is an inherent implication that it is the fault or weakness of the afflicted.

This is why so many doctors believe that they just need to toughen up.

Or just need a couple of days off.

But in truth, burnout is a cry.

Burnout is the call of the soul.

Burnout is an opportunity.

Exhaustion, anger, overwhelm are calling you to attend to your humanity; to awaken from the lies of a system that would have you believe it is your fault.

Taking care of yourself is an act of rebellion against a system and a culture that has you caring for yourself last.

"You are an instrument of divine healing," says Robert Ellis, DO, PhD, assistant professor of medicine College of Osteopathic Medicine of the Pacific. "Treat yourself as such."

It's not your fault.

The system must change.

Meanwhile, you can and must save yourself.

You must fiercely prioritize your health and well-being.

You must attend to yourself as an instrument of healing.

Then, and only then, can you not only survive the system, but rise to change it.