The Loneliest Profession (and how to break out)

"As soon as I walk through the doors of my clinic," an orthopedic surgeon tells me, "I put my game face on."

Fred wears his “game face” despite his dark nights when he wrestles with loneliness.

This is the true meaning of imposter syndrome.

The mask of the unflappable physician, a fountain of ubiquitous compassion and confidence, feeds the cycle of loneliness.

Fred is not alone in his loneliness.

Indeed, medicine is one of the loneliest professions, according to a survey by the Harvard Business Review.

5 causes of loneliness in medicine:

1. Workaholism: addiction to work leaves little time for other human connection

2. Reputation and status: fear that a show of vulnerability (humanness) will impact your standing

3. Fear that mental health diagnoses could impact licensure

4. Not wanting to "bring work home" or burden one's partner

5. Shame; the belief that even admitting to one’s loneliness is a weakness

Almost daily, physicians admit that they are lonely -- or stay in unfulfilling relationships — because they fear loneliness.

Michael, a primary care physician, has plenty of colleagues with whom he has friendly interactions.

He is also one of the lucky ones who considers his wife his best friends.

But still, he is lonely.

Professionally-based relationships can — but do not necessarily — make for friendships.

They tend to be based on hierarchy, power and status.

They are often based on maintaining one’s “game face.”

Real friendship relies on vulnerability, honesty and authenticity -- risks for physicians trying to maintain status and reputation.

“Real” friendship is based on trust, reciprocity and transparency.

And relying solely on one’s spouse for friendship can put strain on the relationship.

"Loneliness is an aversive signal, much like thirst, hunger or pain," according to John Cacioppo, a University of Chicago psychologist.

What’s your loneliness telling you?

7 hacks for curing loneliness:

1. Invest in friendship

2. Reach out to friends you have

3. Make new friends

4. Join a weekly group to meet people, in person

5. Prioritize friendship

6. Make a list of those you'd like a closer relationship with

7. Tell at least one person what's really going on

In the simplest terms: find, make and nurture connections.

Do this as though your life depended on it. Because it does.