Why is it so Hard to Make a Move? (and one guy who’s doing it)

“I’m so afraid of making mistakes,” an orthopedic surgeon recently admitted, “that I just don’t want to make a move.”

He’s exhausted.

At 49, he’s put his life on hold for decades.

He is married to his work.

In many ways, he considers his team family.

He takes care of them. He shares personal struggles with them.

But this relationship is conditioned on money.

At the end of the day, he is their employer.

Through coaching, he is coming to realize that he has one life. And he is ready to live it.

He wants more.

He wants an intimate relationship.

He wants to explore the world.

He wants to take care of his body and soul.

“Being perfectionistic and risk-adverse is good for my career,” says the 49-year-old physician. “But it also is a bit of a safety blanket. Yes, I get affirmation and a paycheck. But there’s a steep cost.”

He came to coaching, after months of procrastination, because the pain of staying is finally unbearable.

”I need to be more open to making mistakes in life,” he says.

Why it so hard to make a move?

For a perfectionist there may be no greater fear than that of making mistakes.

Yet, it is in making mistakes that the richness of life can be realized.

This is where courage comes in.

For perfectionists, the courage to make mistakes is huge.

Messiness and imperfection are the stuff of life itself.

Stagnation — perfection — is death.

Life compels growth.

It calls to us, beckons us to go exploring.

That’s just what the orthopedic surgeon has decided to do: Explore himself and discover his best life.

The biggest move of all?

He’s decided to leave his job.

It’s the most frightening and freeing thing he’s ever done.

Making this decision has made him feel lighter already.