Are You the Last on Santa’s List?

My former husband, a physician, was often on call for the holidays — at least one of them — each year.

Many Easter egg hunts set up and directed without him, the kids and me scrambling around the backyard in freezing Minnesota. At least, he figured, it wasn’t Hanukkah or Christmas, both of which we celebrated. Though often it was those, too.

This is a fact of life for doctors and their families.

As doctors, you have very little control over this. There is likely a rotation in your group and when it is your turn, it is your turn.

If you are not partnered and/or no children, you may be the one who gets stuck with working the holidays, as everyone assumes that your holiday time is less sacred than those with children and spouses. Each year, regardless of your marital status, there is a fresh reminder of what you signed up for when you decided to go to med school.

Here they are again. The holidays. This time of gathering, giving, reflection and promise.

When does the payoff come?

As you become more established in your career, you may be asking,“Did I really sign up for this?”

As my ex-husband winds down his practice, he’s been able to host Thanksgiving. He’s brought the turkey and I supplied the other.

We’ve spent more consistent holiday time since divorcing than we did when we were married.

This is due in part to him earning holidays off and partly because he’s standing up for himself and his right for time off. He’s looking at retiring a couple of years earlier than planned, because the hospital is talking about implementing a schedule for all physicians that does not allow for any autonomy.

“I won’t do that. I’m done with this,” he says. He’s standing in his own authority and standing up for his own humanity.

What are your beliefs about the “balance”?

Are you still the last one on Santa’s list for healing and support?

As we head into the new year, maybe it’s time to re-examine your commitment to your life’s work.

What part of it do you still love? What part of it is working against your core values? What do you want your life after work to look like?

What do your holidays look like this year?