4 Ways to Create Dad Space
Many years ago, as I faced one of the toughest decisions of my life -- whether to have another child -- my father gave me an answer that I did not want to hear.
I wanted to shake him and scream "No!"
But he believed unconditionally in my ability to navigate my life with courage and clarity.
My Dad believed in me. These weren't empty words. He believed in every cell of his body that I could do whatever I put my mind to do.
He created a space where I could do things that seemed impossible or certainly monumental.
When I was in his presence, I shined my brightest. I took up space. I shouted from the mountaintops and he responded with a resounding Yes.
This included times when I really wanted him to tell me what to do. But my dad actually held me naturally creative, resourceful and whole -- especially in pivotal, life-changing times in my life -- when only you can make a decision about your life...
He was my first life coach.
Way before there was such a thing, he did what the best coaches do:
He held me as Naturally Creative, Resourceful and Whole.
This is coach-speak for the deep belief in everyone's ability to navigate their own lives with courage and clarity.
My Dad believed in me. These weren't empty words. He believed in every cell of his body that I could do whatever I put my mind to do.
He created a space where I could do things that seemed impossible or certainly monumental.
When I was in his presence, I shined my brightest. I took up space. I shouted from the mountaintops and he responded with a resounding Yes.
So when I asked him what to do, have another child or not, he said simply and clearly, "Whatever decision you make, Susan, will be the right one."
My dad had many of his own opinions and was not afraid to express them.
So it was all the more impressive when he refrained from giving his opinion.
The real decisions, the ones worthy of the word "choice", are the ones only we can make for ourselves.
No one, no matter how wise, can make it for us.
As painful as it is sometimes to refrain from sharing our opinions and directives with those struggling, there is nothing more powerful we can do for others than to give the supportive space to make their own decision for themselves.
To create this sort of space for others takes skill, restraint and compassion.
And when we find ourselves in this courageous space, struggling to find the truth for ourselves, supported and loved, we experience the true power of personal freedom.
This is an awesome power that brings the wisdom of maturity.
Though, my dad's been gone for 11 years, not a day goes by that I don't hear him cheering me on with a resounding Yes.
Father's Day is for me, about celebrating the Yes that my dad instilled in me. The courage to take that step forward into the unknown.
Here are 4 ways to create Dad space for others:
Believe that they can do it.
Know that they can come up with answer that is right for them.
Have faith that any choice they make will be the right one.
Love them no matter what.
Happy Father's Day to the dads and especially everyone who is consciously creating a strong, non-judgmental and loving space for others to find themselves.