Coaching Without Borders

She is Muslim. I am not affiliated with any religion, but carry the spirit of many. She is 21. I am 60. She is African. I am American. She is black. I am white.

Over thousands of miles, time zones, continents, oceans, cultures, a little voice told her that life coaching might be the answer for her troubles.

Maimouna Diop and I met through LinkedIn. Or, more accurately, LinkedIn was the vehicle through which we connected.

Her friends thought I might be trying to scam her. Why, they asked, would you want to tell this white lady across the world about your life?

For my part, I wondered, Why would this young woman — not a physician — from the west coast of Africa want to hire me as a life coach?

It turns out that everyone yearns, as some point in their lives, to transform, to be more, to lift up toward the light, to be their highest and best self.

Life coaching is a powerful path toward this universal human desire. It has the great potential to rise above race, religion, culture, gender identity and more.

Maimouna and I ran into some barriers right away. I tried to reschedule her for the following week, but then offered her an appointment that day. She jumped on it. “I really need this,” she said.

She had trouble downloading Zoom. Then there was trouble connecting. She emailed me, telling me she was trying. I kept my Zoom screen open, for some reason knowing this was real. Important.

Half an hour later, just after she sent an email saying that we’d have to reschedule, there she was: Maimouna in all her glory, beaming her gap-toothed smile at me on my screen, as I sat in my office in Minneapolis, MN.

I was immediately transported to another world as she sat in a mall in Dakar, Senegal.

When I asked what the other voices were, she turned her camera toward a couple of her beautiful friends who held their glasses to me in a toast.

I was more than a little skeptical about how this could seriously work.

But Maimouna was authentic, sincere and focused as she told me why she was reaching out.

She’d suffered “multiple burnouts,” and another one was looming. Wherever she went, the same tendency to say Yes followed her. She was drained, resentful. Felt that the only reason she was valued at work was because she said Yes to everything. Not for her skills and talents.

She was quick, understanding concepts like “saboteurs” and “inner leader”.

She was hungry to grow.

There was immediate trust between us, and I was honored with its proof when she decided to make me the instrument of her transformation.

Her financial commitment was significant, relative to her income — part of the reason for her friends’ concern.

In four sessions, she realized change so much beyond her “burnout.” Maimouna reframed her purpose and realized that the overarching imperative for her life is growth.

“This job offers growth,” she says, including the opportunity to live all over the world.

Sometimes staying where you are is the real ticket to transformation.

The only thing in her way was her own confidence. Now she knows she has greatness in her. When her co-workers and bosses compliment her, they were telling the truth. She believes them.

“People tell us that sky is the limit. But even the sky is not a limit because people go to the moon,” she says. “You were on the other side of the world telling me that there is no limit.”

She believed me. Because I believe it.

She goes on about how she’s changed — how everyone notices — she’s more positive. She’s limiting her gossip like limiting junk food. She remembers that she wants God to keep her “little secrets”. Who is she to expose others’ little secrets, she asks?

She’s also limiting her actual junk food, committing to losing weight. “I deserve it. I’m worth it.”

I ask her what she would do to sustain this feeling of motivation and purpose — this feeling that the world is wide and wonderful, that she was the only one getting in her way.

Her answer was surprising.

It was her own image in the mirror.

“People used to bully me about the gap between my teeth. One day my father said, ‘I love my daughter because she has beautiful smile.’ I always think of that. Sometimes when I’m feeling down, I’ll go into the bathroom and smile at myself. When I see my smile and that gap, I see my soul shining through.”

She wants to give me all the credit for her transformation. But watching her brighten and grow so quickly is like watching a flower bloom in time-lapse. I remind her that all of these tools live in her.

“This light, your beauty and gifts live in you. No one can give them to you, and no one can take them away,” I tell her.

Maimouna writes that down in her journal.

“I will come meet you in person one day!” She exclaims with the gap-tooth smile that lifts her own spirits. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to hug you.”

In her smile, I can see her soul shining through. Look out world, Maimouna, is coming to touch your soul.