Blog

When I was parenting young children, my biggest struggle was with "consistency."

My son, in particular, was extremely persistent and often quite convincing.

I'd begin to doubt my position.

I'd get worn down.

Confidence is something you have or you don't. Right?

It's a posture. A way of standing, gesturing, speaking.

If we can master the act of confidence, we will be confident, the logic goes.

Wrong.

Some say that loving your work is a privilege.

I love my work.

When I am coaching, writing, speaking or listening deeply, I am living on purpose.

These are the places where I find flow.

A few years ago, I wrote a novel.

It took years to finish a draft.

I'd start it, then stop. It was taking so long!

I wanted to publish it. I saw myself going to bookstores around the country, doing book signings.

Then I'd look at my measly progress and give up…

Parenting has been my first school of leadership coaching.

It becomes apparent with milestones, like marriage.

My girl just married the love-of-her life.

To walk her down the isle with her father was one of the greatest honors of my lifetime.

But I did not get her to this point. She did.

My daughter is getting married this week.

I know, I know. This isn't FaceBook.

LinkedIn is for business.

But in my world -- in the world of life coaching -- my heart is in my business and my business in my heart.

Integration, not compartmentalizing. Life is not in boxes.

What’s next?

"I want to know what my next chapter is," a physician recently told me. "Let's go."

I hate to tell you this…

My mother is in the advance stages of Alzheimer's.

I try to visit her a few times a week.

If I wait too long, I feel guilty, which makes me delay another day.

But as soon as I'm at her bedside, regret and guilt evaporate.

There is no time for this.

Your day is finally done, though a million things still remain undone.

It's time to go home.

You "should" feel happy about this.

After all, all day you've been fighting to keep your nose above water…

It was May in Rome.

(That's practically a guarantee that you won't be in your right mind.)

He was Spanish -- with a French accent…

You are not alone in that fear…

If you're reading this, you already know.

The medical system is toxic…

It's not you.

It's not because you're weak.

It's not because you don't have the stamina or the resilience…

“I feel so fragmented,” a physician recently told me. “I’m all over the place”

"I need to have better boundaries," another physician lamented.

Boundaries — the struggle to say No — is a common theme among those in the healing profession.

"My anxiety is almost never about complex cases," writes pediatric surgeon, Erik Pearson, MD FACS. "My anxiety comes from having to be in two places at once."

This is a common source of anxiety among doctors.

Logically, we know we can't be two places at once, yet the superhero mentality reinforced by physician culture and profit structure, has many doctors believing that they should.

The impossibility of being two places at once breeds a persistent, nagging sense of failure.

This sense of "not doing enough" comes in other forms, too.

Perfectionism and doctoring are like peas in a pod.

At its most functional, perfectionism is about adhering to high standards of excellence.

For Martin, an orthopedic surgeon, this means being well-prepared. He goes over each patient's chart meticulously the night before each surgery.

For the perfectionist, nothing is left to chance.

Sometimes it starts with a roadblock.

"I don't see you as a leader here."

That short sentence put Sharon Stein MD, a colorectal surgeon, on a path to leadership excellence.

In a specialty still dominated by men in leadership positions, this is a path that calls for confidence.

"I am lonely," a physician, I’ll call Fred, tells me.

Fred is not alone in his loneliness.

Daily, I hear from physicians that they are lonely -- or stay in unfulfilling relationships, because they fear loneliness.

Medicine is, hands down, one of the loneliest professions, according to a survey by the Harvard Business Review.

What causes loneliness in medicine?

Is “Stop Procrastinating” on you New Years Resolution list?

Learn why you procrastinate and ways to intercept the Avoider.